Side Effects…

I was a boy, you was a man
I was too young to understand
I was naïve, I just believed
Everything that you told me
Said you were strong, protecting me
Then I found out that you were weak
Keepin’ me there, under your thumb
’cause you were scared that I’d become much
More than you could handle,
Shining like a chandelier
That decorated every room inside
The private hell we built,
And I dealt with it
Like a kid I wished I could fly away

But instead, I kept my tears inside
’cause I knew if I started I’d keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don’t regret it but I still live with the side effects

Waking up scared some nights still dreaming ’bout them violent times?
Still little protective ’bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinkin’ ’bout me tryin’ to run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects

Vacant inside, no one was there
Couldn’t be real, had to keep quiet
Once in awhile, put up a fight
It’s just too much, night after night
After awhile I would just lie,
You was dead wrong, said you was right
Did what I could, just to survive
Couldn’t believe this was my life,
Flickering like a candle
Doin’ my best to handle sleeping with the enemy
Aware that he was smothering every last part of me
So I broke away and finally found the strength to leave

I kept my tears inside
’cause I knew if I started I’d keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don’t regret it but I still live with the side effects

[Thinking to myself]
Hey magnifico or should I say magnificent?
Ain’t nothing worth your happiness
And I ain’t caring who you’re with
Misery loves company so we ain’t tryin’ to hang with you all
Hurt you if you let ’em in
Gotta keep you sucker smilin’
Keep tryin’ to play apology
I tell him I ain’t blowin’ though
Think they want me outta here,
I tell ’em I ain’t goin’ though
Side effects be drowsiness,
Loneliness,
How is this?
I think the call it hateration,
What can you prescribe for this?

Forgive but I can’t forget,
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side effects
But I ain’t gonna let them get the best of me

Forgive but I can’t forget,
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side effects
But I ain’t gonna let them get the best of me

Kept my tears inside
’cause I knew if I started I’d keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don’t regret it but I still live with the side effects

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